


Spike/Tara Drabbles

by dreamsofspike



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-22 22:45:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 3,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9628574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamsofspike/pseuds/dreamsofspike
Summary: A collection of my drabbles for the pairing Spike/Tara from BtVS.Warnings: violence, domestic abuse, dark themes





	1. Silent Tears

She doesn't know it... but I do.  
  
You really do love her.  
  
She only sees what she's been trained to see... but I see more. I have learned very well that what appears to be good is sometimes deadly dangerous -- and what appears to be monstrous might actually be what you've been waiting for all along.  
  
I went by your crypt the other night, just to see if I could find her. I wanted to ask how Willow was doing.   
  
She was there.  
  
You were, too.  
  
I could hear from outside... the quiet, muffled sobs, the desperate pleas for her to stay.   
  
She didn't.   
  
I heard horrible sounds, thumps and smacks and angrily hissed words that tell me all too clearly what's happening inside.  
  
She stormed out, never noticing me there with my back against the wall of the crypt.  
  
All was silent -- but I knew you were still crying... still hurting.  
  
I could feel it.


	2. Coming Home

She's lived in Buffy's house for more than a year now, and the people she lives with feel just like family to her.  
  
But these days, she never feels at home.  
  
Something is wrong with Willow, something she can't control, can't help... not unless Willow lets her.  
  
He can't remember the last time he felt at home anywhere. Sunnyhell is the site of the worst of his defeats -- and yet somehow, something always brings him back here. He can't seem to get away, but he knows he'd be better off not to stay.  
  
He's lost one love here before -- and the one he loves now may cost him his life if he's not careful.  
  
It doesn't matter to her how much she hurts him. He's not a person, doesn't have a soul; he's just the thing she uses to vent her frustration -- sexual and otherwise.  
  
He's waiting outside one night, as he's done so many nights before, watching dutifully over Dawn until Buffy comes home. More often than not these days, he waits in his crypt for Buffy to come by; but tonight he doesn't really want to see her.  
  
He doesn't look forward to her visits anymore.  
  
They only leave him feeling worse than he felt when she arrived.  
  
The thought crosses his mind that Dawn's probably been quite neglected lately, in the midst of her sister's issues, and the tensions between her other housemates. A weary sense of sadness comes over him as he thinks of all the tragedy that's befallen all of them over the past couple of years, and how much it's changed so many of them for the worse.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
The soft voice behind him catches him by surprise and he spins around guiltily to face the blonde witch, looking at him with a curious but friendly expression.  
  
"I just, uh... just wanted to make sure the little bit's all right, yeah? Didn't think anybody was home, so I thought I'd... wait a bit, 'til someone came home."  
  
Tara's face softens into an appreciative smile. "That's sweet of you."  
  
Spike scoffs self-consciously, rolling his eyes. "Just bloody self-preservation's what it is. Anything happened to Dawn, Slayer'd find _some_ way to make it my fault. She's gotten good at doin' that lately."  
  
Tara's smile fades into a troubled expression as she glances up toward Dawn's bedroom window.  
  
"To tell you the truth, I'm not sure she'd notice," she sighs.  
  
Spike feels an overwhelming sense of irrational relief at the simple knowledge that he's not the only one who's noticed the problem. Whatever terrible curse has fallen over Buffy and her friends lately, apparently Glinda's not affected by it.  
  
They sit on the porch for a long time, talking and taking comfort in each other's understanding -- and it feels safe and comfortable and so, so right.  
  
It feels like coming home.


	3. If They Only Knew

It started a few months ago.  
  
Tara's been lonely for longer than that. Willow's always there, but she's not the same, lately. Tara feels as if she hardly knows her. Tara tries to talk to her about the problems she's developing, but Willow gets angry and shuts her out, refusing to talk about it.  
  
Spike is getting more from the Slayer than he's ever gotten before -- but it's farther than ever from what he wants. Their encounters leave him feeling hollow and numb, like the dead thing she says he is. He thinks every time that this might be the time when she can't deny it anymore -- but it never is.  
  
They started talking at the Magic Box one afternoon, and somehow the conversation turned to their respective relationships. It was comforting to realize that someone else could so fully understand how they felt.  
  
Eventually... comfort turned to something more.  
  
Neither is ready yet to give up their relationship with the other in their lives; they still hold out vain hope that everything might still turn out all right.  
  
In the mean time... they take fleeting, occasional comfort in each other... and wonder what the objects of their affection would think, if they only knew.


	4. Stable

Nothing’s stable anymore.  
  
He’d just about adjusted to life with the chip when he realized that it no longer works on Buffy. Then, suddenly, they were kissing… and kissing again… and then sleeping together… not that any actual sleeping was involved.  
  
He thought it’d be what he’s longed for – but it isn’t.  
  
It’s painful and violent and confusing, and he feels like he’s sinking, slowly being swallowed up in the wake of her pain and despair.  
  
No one knows it, but he turns to another wounded heart – another broken, hurting person, watching in helpless agony as the one she loves winds slowly down into madness and addiction. One night, he pours it all out to her – and she tells him her own frightening story – and they hold each other on the Slayer’s sofa, while their loves are off sinking deeper into their own destructions.  
  
The tears are cleansing… soothing… and they find a sort of refuge in this unexpected friendship.


	5. Rescuing You

She can hear the terrible noise coming from inside the crypt -- just like she's heard it many nights since she discovered what was going on between the Slayer and the chipped vampire.   
  
Tonight will be the last night she ever hears it.  
  
She throws the door open without touching it, using magic to muffle the sound. She knows they're downstairs, in Spike's makeshift bedroom, and she doesn't want to lose the element of surprise. Their voices are clearer as she heads for the ladder.  
  
"Buffy, love... I didn't mean to..."  
  
A loud smack cuts off Spike's pleading words, followed by another ominous thump, and Tara knows that, even though he can now, Spike won't strike back at her when she's like this. He opened up to her a few nights ago when she tried to get him to walk away, confessed that it's in these moments of vicious violence that the Slayer is really at her most vulnerable.  
  
Tara thinks that that's a load of crap.  
  
It might be partially true -- but it's no excuse for the abuse Buffy's been heaping on the effectively defenseless vampire.  
  
The ladder would also serve to ruin her entrance, so she merely blinks, and suddenly, she's standing at the foot of the ladder, arms crossed, wind whipping about her to display her fury.  
  
Buffy and Spike both stop where they are, stunned and staring in awe at the awe-inspiring creature she's become. Spike has been knocked to the floor, doubled over in pain, and the Slayer's foot is frozen where she had drawn it back, prepared for a kick. Buffy hardly seems to recognize her, her voice a hoarse, hushed whisper.  
  
"T-tara?"  
  
Tara doesn't answer her with words. She flicks her wrist, and the powerful Slayer ends up thrown into the wall like a rag doll. She groans as she tries to pull herself to her feet -- then startles as she finds that Tara's standing directly in front of her, glaring down at her.  
  
Another wave of Tara's hand keeps her down on her hands and knees, refusing to allow her to stand. Tara's voice is strong and authoritative when she speaks, a scathing accusation in her words.  
  
"Supernatural power to fight evil does _not_ give you the right to abuse weaker creatures than you. And _nothing_ gives you the right to take advantage of his feelings for you and use them against him."  
  
In an instant, Buffy is pressed against the wall again, an invisible hand clutching at her throat. Tara slowly moves into her space, standing eye to eye with the usually so much more powerful woman as she clearly states her point.  
  
"You _will not_ touch him again."  
  
Another wave of her hand leaves Buffy standing, bewildered, outside the crypt -- and Tara is merely Tara once more. Spike stares up at her through wide, wondering eyes, holding her gaze solemnly as she kneels in front of him and takes his hands in hers.  
  
He stares down at them, blinking back hot tears, as she leans in to press a chaste, tender kiss to his lips and murmur soft words of reassurance.  
  
"You deserve so much more."


	6. Wedding Date

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"   
  
Buffy snaps as she crosses the room to where Spike stands with his wedding date. Her hands are on her hips and she looks furious, ready to strike him again. He grimaces slightly as he instinctively steps between her and Tara; his bruises have barely healed from the last time.  
  
"I'm invited," he reminds the Slayer in a low, controlled voice. "And so's my date, for that matter. "You haven't got the right to keep either of us away."  
  
"She can stay," Buffy declares with a tight smile and nod at Tara. " _You_ had better get out of here, before I..."  
  
"Before you what?" Tara demands, surprising Spike by pushing past him to stand between him and Buffy. "What are you going to do to him just for being here? If Anya and Xander invited him, what gives you the right to make him go?"  
  
"This is... awkward, and uncomfortable and... and ridiculous..." Buffy sputters. "He shouldn't be here! He's not even..."  
  
"What? Human?" Tara finishes for her, the look on Buffy's face making it clear her guess was right. "Neither are half the guests, in case you hadn't noticed. Just because you've spent the last few months using and abusing him does not give you the right to kick him out because _you're_ uncomfortable!"  
  
"But... but..."  
  
"If he goes, I go." Tara smiles coldly as she adds for clarification, "And for the record... I'm not going anywhere."  
  
Before Buffy can respond, Tara has taken Spike's hand and led him toward the dance floor. He's shaken at first, uncertain as to how to take what's just happened -- but within a few minutes, she's managed to distract him from his worries and make him remember what it feels like to actually _belong_ somewhere.


	7. Damage Control

When Buffy storms into the house, tears streaming from her eyes, Tara immediately gets a pretty good idea of what's happened. She gets up, but she doesn't head upstairs after Buffy. Instead, she heads for the door and makes her way to Restfield Cemetery.  
  
She finds Spike in a similar state, pacing and raging, tears streaming from his eyes as he wrecks his crypt, throwing furniture and other possessions against the walls.  
  
She closes the door loudly enough for him to hear it and get his attention -- and he looks up at her in startled alarm that quickly softens into relief.  
  
"Tara. What're you doing here?" he asks softly, sorrow and defeat in his voice as he turns away from here.  
  
She wastes no time on false pleasantries, just crosses the room to him and puts her arms around him from behind, her head resting on his shoulder.  
  
"Are you okay?" she murmurs with tender concern. "What happened?"  
  
"She hates me. I don't know why she even bothers. She _hates_ me! If the sight of me disgusts her so much, why does she even bother to touch me?"  
  
His shoulders shake with silent sobs, and she pulls him closer, hands tugging gently at his waist to get him to turn around.   
  
"Hey," she murmurs, one hand gently touching his cheek. "She's got to be crazy. She doesn't know what she's missing out on, sweetie."   
  
He reluctantly allows her to embrace him, taking comfort from the gentleness the Slayer denies him -- and she hopes that one day he'll get over his obsession and see that he is worth more than Buffy will ever be willing to give him.


	8. You Actually Told

"You actually _told_ them?"   
  
Buffy's voice trembled with outraged fury as they stood together in her kitchen, a few minutes after the guest of the doomed birthday party had made their way out of the house and into freedom.  
  
"Not exactly -- well, _yes_ , exactly, but only Glinda -- and only 'cause she asked! She's psychic, isn't she? Can't exactly lie to her..."  
  
"Stupid excuse, Spike. She can't read your thoughts. She wouldn't have known anything if you hadn't felt the need to open your _stupid... mouth_..."  
  
As she spoke Buffy was edging nearer to Spike, and he found himself unintentionally backing up against the wall beside the door, a convulsive swallow visible in his throat as he held up his hands in front of him in a placating gesture.  
  
"Now, Buffy... easy now, Slayer... no need for things to get..."  
  
A brutal fist across his face knocked his head into the wall. Spike raised a hand to touch his bleeding lip, grimacing at his stained fingers as he pulled them away before looking up at her resentfully to conclude.  
  
"... violent."  
  
"Oh, yes there is!" Buffy seethed, gripping his throat and shoving him back against the wall again. "I told you not to tell them. I told you I'd _kill_ you if you told them!"  
  
Spike's eyes widened with alarm when he saw the stake she'd pulled out of her pocket.  
  
"Slayer... wait..."  
  
He winced as the weapon was pressed against his chest, hard enough to draw blood through his black t-shirt. He froze, not daring to move lest he should give her temper the added shove it needed to provoke her to actually stake him. Buffy's voice was low and menacing as she leaned in close to speak next to his ear.  
  
"You're going to find her, and you're going to tell her that you lied." A cruel smirk twisted her lips as she added with a careless shrug, "She'll buy that you made it up. Your pathetic obsession with me should be evidence enough to explain that away..."  
  
"And what's going to explain away _this_?"  
  
Both Slayer and vampire turned around, startled by the soft but furious voice coming from the kitchen doorway.   
  
Tara.  
  
Spike cringed, thinking that this could only make things worse for him. This was the first time anyone had ever seen the way Buffy had been treating him lately, and he was certain that her reaction could not be good.  
  
Buffy stood there, wide-eyed, mouth agape, unable to formulate a response.  
  
"I forgot my coat," Tara explained, her voice quiet and steely. "But I heard you two in here, and... and I can't believe what I heard."  
  
"Tara... it's not what you think..."  
  
"Really? Because I _think_ you two have been sleeping together, and you're too much of a bitch to let him admit it to anyone without knocking the crap out of him."  
  
As she spoke, Tara slowly advanced into the kitchen, arms crossed accusingly over her chest.  
  
"Does that make you feel better, Buffy? More in control? For the moment, maybe -- until it's over and you remember what a wreck your life has turned into because of just this kind of behavior..."  
  
Buffy flinched, shaking her head in wounded disbelief.  
  
"Tara... no..."  
  
"Well, you're not going to ruin his life, too." Tara paused, her soft grey-blue eyes locking onto Buffy's gaze without flinching, a quiet warning in her cold stare. "Let go of him -- or I'll remind you that Willow's not the only one with a few tricks up her sleeve."  
  
More stunned than frightened by the threat, Buffy nevertheless released Spike, taking a step backward. He glanced uncertainly between her and Tara before opening the kitchen door.  
  
"Guess I'd best be going..."  
  
Her gaze never leaving Buffy's face, Tara nodded. "Wait. I'll come with you," she offered. "Just let me get my coat."


	9. We Could Be Friends

He finds her sitting outside on the porch, alone.  
  
As she hears him approaching, she angrily swipes at her tears, turning her face away. His heart softens toward her -- not that it takes much; he's always had a bit of a soft spot for Glinda. He sits down beside her, thinking how frequently he's found himself in the same spot -- hurting and angry and alone, on the outside looking in.  
  
"It's not as bad as all that, is it, love?" he soothes her gently, placing a supportive hand on her shoulder.   
  
"She doesn't know what she's doing," Tara sighs, her voice trembling with tears. "She's headed for disaster and she doesn't even know it."  
  
Spike is quiet for a moment. He knows she's talking about Willow, but she might as well be talking about Buffy as well.  
  
"I know what you mean, love," he confesses softly. "You can see the way they're headed... sometimes wonder if it's even partly your fault. After all, you were a part of her... being introduced to something that... might be a little more than she can handle. But... there's nothing you can do to help her, if she won't let you."  
  
Tara stares at him in wonder for a long moment before nodding slowly and looking away. "Yeah," she agrees. "Exactly."  
  
They talk a while longer, and throughout their conversation, it becomes obvious that they've got quite a bit in common. The quiet, tender intimacy of the conversation builds, and they gradually develop of sense of warmth and affection toward each other, born of their mutual pain.  
  
A lull comes in the conversation, as they simply meet each other's eyes in a knowing look.  
  
"You know," he suggests with a teasing little smirk, "in another life... where you liked men, and I liked... non-homicidal maniacs..." He shakes his head, laughing in self-deprecation as she laughs with him, before his expression becomes serious and he meets her eyes again. "... we might have been a thing, you and I. Might have worked out well."  
  
Tara nods in agreement, reaching out a reassuring hand to rest on his knee. She shrugs slightly as she offers gently.  
  
"As it is... we could be _friends_."


	10. Moving On

AU, disregard last four episodes of Season Six; Spike and Buffy broke up, Willow and Tara broke up, and things went on mostly as normal :P  
  
  
She notices him from across the Bronze, notices the fallen set of his shoulders, the way he stares with a lost look at Buffy on the dance floor, oblivious to everything around her, except for her latest romantic target.  
  
Oblivious to the pain of the vampire who watches her from across the room.   
  
Tara slips up behind him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. Spike startles under her hand -- then relaxes when he realizes who's touched him. He turns back toward Buffy, watching with a heavy sigh.  
  
"She's completely moved on," he observes softly. "She doesn't even... remember..."  
  
"She remembers," Tara gently assures him. "But... if she didnt make herself move forward... find someone new... she'd never... stop hurting, you know? She has to... m-move on."  
  
He turns toward her, recognizing a subtle note of self-awareness in her voice. She's talking about Buffy, but she's also talking about him... and about herself. He remembers that it hasn't been all that long since she left Willow.  
  
She edges cautiously nearer to him, her eyes downcast as she swallows nervously before looking up at him again, something solemn and needy in her huge, expressive eyes.  
  
"Sometimes... that's all you _can_ do," he agrees. "Is move on. It's the... the only way to survive..."  
  
Their lips meet in a tentative moment of cautious affection, and Tara allows herself to be lost in the kiss.  
  
They can move on... if they can do it together.


	11. Hiding Place

The sharp rap at the bedroom door made Tara's stomach lurch, as she hurried to answer it, already certain of whom she would see on the other side.  
  
"Buffy, what's wrong?" she asked, frowning when she saw the taut expression of restrained alarm on the other woman's face.  
  
"Have you seen Spike tonight? Has he been by here?"  
  
Tara considered for a moment, then shook her head, tilting her head in a puzzled way.  
  
"No... why?"  
  
"I just... I need to find him. There's, um... a slaying... thing... I need... need his help with..."  
  
"Oh, okay." Tara's expression eased, and she nodded. "Well, if I see him, I'll let him know you're looking for him."  
  
She closed the door, waiting until she heard Buffy's footstep fade away down the stairs to open the closet door. She gave Spike a rueful, sympathetic smile, rolling her eyes toward the door as she shrugged and informed him.  
  
"Buffy's looking for you."  
  
Spike's eyes widened and he struggled to rise, his tone eager despite the damage the Slayer did to him when last they met.  
  
"She is?"  
  
Tara gently helped him to his feet -- only to push him down onto the bed, rather than helping him toward the door. Spike tried to protest, but at the moment, she was stronger.  
  
"No," she stated firmly. "You need to stay away from her right now."  
  
"She needs my help... she needs..."  
  
"To soothe her conscience," Tara snapped, cutting him off, her eyes narrowed in anger not directed at him. "And that's not what _you_ need right now. You need to rest."  
  
Spike hesitated, looking longingly toward the door.  
  
"A couple of days to wonder and worry about what happened to you when she left you in that alley might do her good." Tara's voice softened, and she ran a hand gently through his hair.  
  
Spike looked up at her in surprise, and Tara's heart ached to think how long it must have been since he'd felt a compassionate touch. She repeated it, a gentle hand on his shoulder pressing him down onto the bed.  
  
"Just rest," she repeated softly. "Tonight, _I'm_ the one who'll keep the monsters away."


End file.
